How many times have you been sitting there playing THPS2 and had that goddamned "ya gat me runnin' in a cy-ca-lone" song come up? Don't you want to just shit right in the Cy-Ca-Lone guys' mouth? How about when you're racing an endurance race in Gran Turismo 2 and you get the fucking "Super Bon Bon" song? The very first few measures of which are enough for me to reset the whole damn PSX/PS2.
Enough - that's right. Enough of this stupid-ass music. It's lame and sucky and it detracts from the game. Don't get me wrong, occasionally there's some great songs (THPS1 has almost all great music save Primus' poop-kebob) and THPS2 has about half good songs. But most of the time it's just tired old rap songs and Dragula remixes. Enough!
If you're going to put in music, how about a simple option that will let me skip the songs I don't want to hear? I can't tell you how frustrated and riled up I'd get playing THPS2 and having that "out wit da old in wit da new mom said keep it clean do dis" song shitting up the game. Whereas I'd feel elated every time "No Cigar" came on. I wouldn't even mind just having "No Cigar" looping over and over. Let me skip the junk I don't want to hear or just put in video game music. In fact, I'd settle for MIDIs. I'd settle for the sound of Pitfall Harry jumping looped over and over again.
GAME BOY LOOSE ENDS
As the American release date of GBA approaches, I've been reflecting on some of the loose ends I have yet to tie up on the Game Boy. Will I get to them before GBA comes out and I'm getting into those games heavily? With one week left, these are my tasks:
Oracle of Seasons: While I finished Oracle of Ages on May 20th, Baby has yet to finish Oracle of Seasons so I can usurp the cart. She finished all the labyrinths last night and only needs to kill the final boss. This one is a priority - I need to finish this before GBA games come out. I expect to get it from her today which leaves me about a week to do it, roughly the time it took for Ages.
Metal Gear Solid: Though I absolutely loathe the PSX version (boring, cheating motherfucker), I adore the NES versions - even Snake's Revenge. I was able to get the game for $10 new so I figured I'd give Snake another shot. Lo and behold it turns out to be a fabulous game. I'm about halfway through stage five. I figure I'll still play this even after GBA USA comes out, it holds my interest pretty well.
Metroid II: For someone who's expoits on SRR39 are legendary you'd think I'd have mastered this one as well. I don't know how I never bought this - I've had a Game Boy since about a year after they came out. I know I'll get to this one eventually.
Many moons ago I was playing through Metroid for the millionth time. My normal goal in Metroid was to secure all 255 missiles before going to hash Metroids. This time I played it a little different - see how few missiles I could get and still defeat Mother Brain. So I was ripping through the Zebbetites at 155 missiles and I busted open the 'Brain's shell and was pumping rockets into her. At around 70 missiles remaining I obliterated her and began the long ascention to the elevator. As was tradition, I turned on my missiles to make Samus pink (Varia of course) and climbed into the elevator. No big deal, yawn, yawn. Maybe this time I might get the helmet taken off. I couldn't tell how often that happened, but it seemed pretty rare to me. Imagine my surprise when I saw Samus in a bikini. Holy shitters! I found a new ending! No big deal, though, really. My little brother (cka Poo) was watching me play through this time and before I turned off Metroid, he asked if he could play with my guy now. Why not? I was approaching six hours of pure NES for the day anyway and it was time to move onto GameBoy. I walked out of the room to get some food and Poo started going nuts. "Joey! Get in here! Get in here!" I dashed in and motherfucker if I didn't see Poo playing as a woman! I couldn't believe. Of course he turned the controller over to me and let me play through Metroid once again. Just to see if there were any more cool endings after that. When I later realized that the key to getting the woman ending was to play through quickly, I cursed the millions of times I just played through to get every missile and every item
With so many “classic” 80’s franchises being revived through cinema, it is almost refreshing to see that at least one franchise has taken the exclusively digital route for its reemergence. Ghostbusters was a real powerhouse in its day, chugging out toys for boys (and girls) like other franchises of the time, such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. However, while Ninja Turtle games have remained fairly juvenile throughout the decades, Ghostbusters seems to have an almost creepy self-awareness. Paranormal, one might say. Actually, it’s a rather smart move by the developers – if the audience for Ghostbusters is now 20 years older, shouldn’t the game grow up a bit with them?
The product of this thoughtful design process is a game that not only does justice to the franchise, but could very well stand as a sort of story sequel. Ghostbusters captures all the kooky antics of the films and blasts them right at the player. The premise is simple enough that no Ghostbuster initiation is really required, but hardcore fans will be getting plenty of special joy from this game. The original cast has returned, from Annie Potts to Dan Akroyd (who also penned the script). Of course, if we were totally honest with ourselves, we would admit that Peter Venkman (played by Bill Murray himself) is the real star of the show. Unfortunately, the game’s cinematics feel a little on the awkward side, with cameras focusing in on Murray’s face when all he’s doing is delivering some minor quip. Still, it’s nice to see the cast return in all their digital glory, each having great likenesses and unnaturally uniform skin.
Star power or not, the real reason for playing a game is for the fun, right? Ghostbusters delivers in spades. The multi-step process for tracking and capturing ghosts lies at the core of the gameplay. Getting to actually utilize, and even purchase upgrades, for classic GB equipment adds welcome depth and originality to the gameplay experience. Scanning might reveal anything from a hidden object to ectoplasmic residue (you remember that word, don’t you?) The spiking of meters and quickening of little beeps can indicate when something significant is nearby. It’s a bit like Aliens, but a very effective way to build excitement and tension during ghost hunts.
Once you actually find yourself a phantom, you can instantly switch into combat mode with the tap of a button, and begin blasting away with your signature Ghostbuster… uh, gun. Alright, so maybe I’m a little rusty on the jargon; I was a very tiny tot back in those days! The important thing is that the gun is fun. It scorches walls and shatters glass just like the real thing, and seeing winding paths of black charring across the quieted battlefield is one of the highlights of the Ghostbusters experience – excessive devastation in your pursuit of the undead remains a pillar of Ghostbusters professionalism – and the game even tracks the monetary value of everything you destroy.
After frantically blasting away at flying ghosts, they will become weakened and vulnerable to grabs. The stream produced by the gun will allow you to grab and “wrestle” with the apparition, as it charges back and forth desperately trying to escape your wrath. It might feel a bit cruel, were it not for the fact that most ghosts are ugly, dangerous, and… well, already dead. As they scream and flail about, you have to hold them steady as they get sucked into the trapper. You did remember to slide the famous trapper out onto the floor, yes? Well done. Obviously, the ghosts will do all they can to make your job more difficult. In addition to direct attacks, they can hurl objects at the Ghostbusters to stun or even kill them. Luckily, your fellow Busters can be counted on for support. Not only do they return fire on attacking ghosts, they will revive you when you’re knocked out, so it’s only fair that you should return the favor every so often, Republic Commando-style. It’s a small touch, but it does make the other members of your squad feel more like a living team of characters that you care about.
So with the all-star ensemble and tight gameplay, what is there to gripe about? Well, not much. It’s clearly a game that was designed for multiple platforms – otherwise, I suspect it would be a bit prettier on the PC. As it stands, the visuals are crisp and colorful as they should be, with dazzling effects aplenty. Frame rate does seem to take a hit during some of the busier firefights, as you might expect, but unlike other platforms, the adjustable graphical settings of the PC should allow you to combat this problem. If it doesn’t help, you might be looking at some memory issues. Sound is also excellent, with explosive fireworks filling the room in every battle. The soundtrack is also very familiar, if a bit repetitive. There were quite a few times when the dialogue became a bit hard to hear, either because the voice sounded too quiet or muffled, but this problem is exacerbated by the fact that when Bill Murray speaks, everyone wants to hear what he has to say.
Apart from a modest set of gameplay glitches and some rather annoying load times, Ghostbusters is an action-packed, pleasantly paced, and very well rounded action game suitable for most audiences. It’s loud and showy when it needs to be, but it excels in a sort of quiet thoughtfulness at other times. For a revival of a 20 year old film franchise, Ghosbusters does very well indeed. Buy it, and you won’t have to feel guilty whenever you play, which is more than can be said of similar movie-to-game adaptations.
